Tuesday, November 30, 2010

have moved from www.jayellrawrs.blogspot.com to cupcakemuffincookie.blogspot :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I HAVE A BLOG?!!!!!!!!!!!!



Thursday, September 30, 2010

helllo there.
i need to blog because i don't feel happy :(

i'm physically ill and i'm in a great deal of agony. period cramps are the most annoying thing, ever. it's ripping me apart bit by bit. and the saddest part of all is there isn't anyone there to take care of me anymore. i know i may sound all spoilt now but i just can't stand going through the pain alone. i can't possibly complain to all my friends about it can i without em doing shits. i miss having somebody to complain too. and from complains, he will turn em' into actions. i still remember the times you made me honey just because it's cooling and it helps for the complexion. i loved it. and you made it almost each time we meet. also the other time when i was sick and you sent porridge all the way to my door step. and not forgetting the other time you cooked me a meal. although it was just instant noodles, nobody ever cooked me a meal as far as i remember. you stayed up to help me with my work in every way possible. you fetched me here there everywhere all the time without complaining. and you always buy me my favourite candies, Nerds, Chupa Chups, Maltesers etc. OMG I MISS ALL THESE STUFF ABOUT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :'( the only thing you didn't do is buy me flowers. and it's too late for anything like this already :( FML really.

okay. im done pouring my heart out.

was in malacca the other day with uni mates. we are unbelievable. we did not step foot into any historical building. instead we did the usual. the stuff that can be done back here, in KL, SJ, KLANG, whichever okay. of course we did not miss out on chicken rice ball :D trip would have been perfect without alcohols. alcohol turned everything upside down and caused a major havoc. but it's all goooood now. all in all it was an awesome roadtripp. the company was superb! heheheh.

the legend of the guaardian and alpha & omega.
next up is charlie st. cloud. i so wanna catch that rawr.


Sunday, September 26, 2010



Friday, September 24, 2010

now if you ask me what's my favourtie food i won't have to hesitate or think twice anymore (because that's what i usually do, i'm flicker minded like this) . definitely japanese food. japanese is like my thang now. hahahah. love sushi so much especially california rolls. they're like the best thing ever created by the japanese. besides automobiles of course.

thank you for the awesome sushi lunch of course.

okay, so today marks the first day of my one week holiday. wasn't really looking for it anyways knowing finals are gonna approach in the glimpse of an eye. awful lot isn't it. but let's not be so negative. will try to make full use of my 10 days break man. chances like these don't often come. monash are such stingy bastards when it comes to holidays and breaks, i tell you. booo. 3 more weeks till finals and semester 2 shall come to a full stop. so can't wait.

Shia LaBeouf is too hot in wallstreet *screams like a mad girl*


Thursday, September 23, 2010

love is hate

always when i needed somebody to talk to, you're there. either on msn or facebook or skype. but just not quite the right person to talk to actually. still, im thankful. wait a minute, you're quite different from the rest too :)

i thought i was gonna have a very goodnight sleep after completing marketing's assignment, but no. went to bed. turned left, right, left, right, forced myself to close my eyes, BUT THE MIND JUST WON'T STOP WONDERING ABOUT THINGS and why it happened.

it's been a week and a half already. i should be getting over you by now, i know it myself. but when i'm alone at night, i can't help but to dream of the times we used to have. the stuff you bought me and the little things you did for me. it all matters now, at this very point of my life.

the day i left you, you said i will never find a better guy. well. i guess this is the only thing i can agree with you at the moment but then again = only to a certain extent. yes you've been a good guy friend or rather boy friend to me. you loved and cared for me like no other. BUT the things you hide from me are killing me bit by bit. do you know that? knowing the truth from your friends and not you hurts the shit out of me. to know you're not actually the guy i fell for hurts even more. all i see is a huge faked mask, trying very hard to please me. unfortunately i fell for it. also managed to get out of it before it's too late.

i don't understand. why must you tell lies? why can't you be truthful. at least eo me, for once. this day will come, you should already see it coming before getting to know me. what really pisses me off is the way you try to pull a lie when the truth is so damn obvious already. we know what happened and it shall remain like this for i don't see a point writing it out here and get your ass embarrassed.

if only you were a little more honest to me, things won't turn awful.
if only you didn't lose your cool, we'd be the awesome pair still.
if only you didn't raise your voice, i will not be stubborn.
if only you didn't threaten, we could be friends.

you see what you've done to this relationship of ours?
yes, im here to blame no one but you. no matter how many sorrys or forgivgeness you ask from me and everyone else, it's not gonna be sufficient. really, its not. if you think it is gonna change things then you are wrong, so damn bloody wrong. the damages you've caused is beyond bearable for any living soul in the face of this planet. on top of all this you know who you've hurt the deepest. and the scar shall remain.

i better get going. before chua sees me with dark circles tomorrow (i know you'll read) :D

Monday, September 20, 2010



I'm in the library right now studying and being ze usual nerd me(yeah riiight) with the most awesomest coolest dude ever to step foot in the face of
Malaysiaa :D :D. He's so tall, dark and oh so handsome :D. In fact zis is the most awesomest moment of my lifezzz :D :D.
I needa take a mental picture of this moment


okay donez :D

signing out ma peeppz ;D

ps: I wuuuv eating eating maggi mee soup with my bare hands

pps: Whenever I get too high, I jump around in my room and hit my head with my pillow

ppps: I think Beiber is my future husband <3

Call me Beiber ;)

Which should I choose, Beiber or his lovable adowable doggie? decisions decisions D:

Sunday, September 19, 2010

in the picture above contains a mixture of strawberries, marshmallows and grapes fountained with chocolate! was over at Le Meridien on raya night and the family decided to go for an awesome treat. buffet dinner was really good, i must say :)

okay. i think it's true that people actually put on weight when they're depressed. i feel fatter heavier and larger NOW! on friday night (after 10pm) i had Big Apple's doughnut at rf's place and a fried chicken at shanmuga. yesterday i had nasi lemak, chicken rice, maggi, steamboat dinner and mcdonad's chocolate top for supper. and most of the time after consuming all these food, i go to sleep. like seriously okay. and i'm too damn lazy to go gym with daniel despite the many times he ajaked. AHHHH. this is killing me softly and slowly..

emo nemo weemo elmo lah :(

sunflowers make me happy. have yet to receive one from my real man.
have a good day, y'all!

get back to YOU soon, i pwomise with my pinky finger !

Thursday, September 16, 2010

just got back from icity with the cousins this time.
icty and myself had quite a lot of memories. both good and bad ones with different dudes different time, aduih :/ i had equal fun be it going with you or with them considering this is my second time already. again, nothing much to shout about except for the mesmerizing LED lights. this time, it was so jam packed with people. like seriously. malaysians so love to see light meh? in my defense, i only went there tonight because my cousins hasn't been to icity before. so yeah that explains it :)
a lot has been running through my mind.
i can't seem to think straight.
i feel like crap.
whether i really miss you or it's just the after effect.
one thing for sure, ive messed with the wrong person.
and im in a pretty deep shit.
i hope things are getting better as time pass.
i really gotta move on.
theres way many thing ahead of me that ive gotta concentrate on.
and i cant let my friends down anymore.
theyve been so worried.